MERRY CHRISTMAS & HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM!

Today is my mom's 72nd birthday. Yes, she is a Christmas baby! I guess that's on of the reasons she loved decorating. Growing up, if we planned to give her a separate birthday gift, it had to be wrapped not in Christmas paper but birthday paper. LOL! I understand.

This year I won't be with her for her birthday. I decided to journey to Louisiana to be with family. My youngest daughter stayed behind and will celebrate with mom.

Tis the Season.........

3 days before I was admitted into the hospital, I decorated mom's room with Christmas goodies. She always loved decorating her home for the holiday, so it was very important to me. In spite of the seizure twitches I was having, I got the job done. Made the wreath myself! She was pleased with it.
Last Monday, the day after I got out of the hospital, I went to visit my mom. I wanted her to know I was okay. like some sort of scientist, she's trying to figure out why I have 2 tumors on my brain. LOL! That dementia is something else! I'm so glad I managed to decorated her room. Christmas is her birthday.

Get a Hobby 2

As a caregiver who, minister, counselor, & teacher who is also dealing with senseless family drama, I MUST have an outlet to escape momentarily from reality (if that makes sense). Here’s what I find to be a great stress relief: SCRAPBOOKING and DOODLE JOURNALING. A wonderful young lady gifted me with the journal book, and inside I write and/or doodle random thinking. It’s such a great stress relief tool that I even use it with the survivors of sex abuse support group.

 

DISCLAIMER: Top right and bottom left pics are examples taken from the internet. The other 2 are actually from my book.

Get a Hobby!

Being a caregiver means you must pay a price. You pay through the many sacrifices you are required to make. You must sacrifice your time, feelings, and even finances. You may even feel as if your family has abandoned you. No phone calls, no help, no support. I find peace through my relationship with God. I am strengthened by His Word.

Recently, I developed a liking to 2 hobbies- doodle journaling and scrapbooking. I also like to garden but my own health issues has kept me from working. Both, if but for a moment, takes me away from my problems and give me a sense of accomplishment. Below is a pic of a recent page for my photo album.

Remember!

Mom was in the corner of the room facing the wall. She had one of her socks off and holding the bare foot up. She said she was getting a pedicure. The pedicurist was an "invisible" person. She told me to shut up and wait until she was done. So I waited 10 minutes. The things I have to do. LOL!

 

I received the pictured journal as a gift. It has numerous questions about life: as a child, Family life, favorite things, etc. I thought it would be a great tool to use to get her talking and to help her to remember. I was right! She loves it! Her memory about childhood events was very sharp today. The journey begins...I'm writing mom's story and making her a memory book. BEST VISIT EVER!

Dementia Got Me Thinking

My heart aches for the many people I've counseled who experienced horrible & abusive parenting. They're still bitter. Remember, God chose your parents. He wanted their DNA to create you. That bitterness you carry is like a cancer- it started with your parents but now it has spread to other relationships and areas of your life. One day your parents, like my mom, may have dementia or some other disease that eats away their lives.. Bitterness has no place in the life of an adult child whose parent is ill. Move on, forgive. The one who is bitter and unforgiving is the one with the problem.

The pic is an excerpt from my afternoon devotion.

OVERWHELMED!

3/20/2014

DEMENTIA CHRONICLES: Mom has lost 5% of her body weight since last Thanksgiving.

She doesn’t eat much because sometimes she: 1) Forgets how to eat, 2) Doesn’t like the food, or 3) Thinks she is eating when she is not.

 

In the picture, mom is sipping on a cup of coffee. I observed her spooning in sugar and even stirring. She slowly lifted the cup to her mouth, took sips and then carefully returned the cup to the table. She believes the coffee is there, but, invisible to me. She sometimes believes I see her hallucinations, but I just won't admit it.

 

Dementia is a HORRIBLE disease that kills. Walking through this with mom is making me a BETTER person, but I pray it doesn’t make me BITTER – I can handle the mistreatment my mom gives…it’s expected & excused…. she has dementia. This has been an emotional rollercoaster – I’d be okay with it, if it was mom that put me on the ride.  My husband and kids has been amazing!  I don’t know what I’d do without them! I am grateful to God for ministering to me.  He keeps me going!

 

I wish my family would give me a little support. A call here and there asking how am I doing would be nice. It's hard to believe that I am doing this alone without the support of my family. To add, I have been dealing with a major health issue since last September. I am in such extreme pain that I don't sleep much. Hip and knee swelling and pain has left me unable to sit too long. The pain never stops! My progress in physical therapy has been slow. With all of this, I am tending to mom and dad ALONE!

• I tend to both of my parents finances---alone.
• I am handling my dad's illness and possibly moving him here with me---alone.
• I am paying for mom's personal needs---alone.
• I am watching my mom deteriorate---alone.
• I am handling medical decisions, which I really don't have a clue about---alone.

 

Family, if you are reading this---AM I LYING? Why don't you call and ask "How are you doing? How is mom doing?" What did I do to deserve this? I feel alone and abandoned.